7.ICR.1

What does this standard mean a child will know and be able to do?

7.ICR.1.1 Contrast characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships.
One of the dimensions of health is social well-being. Just as with physical health, a person can have healthy or unhealthy characteristics in the social domain of health. Healthy relationships can enhance the quality of one’s life. The characteristics that are associated with healthy relationships are loyalty, concern, trustworthiness, and mutual respect. Friends should value each other, listen to each other, and support each other. Good friends are capable of sharing feelings and often have interests in common. Friends often need to compromise and meet each other half way or take turns. One person should not have to give in every time. Each person should know what qualities they want in a friend and try to bring those qualities to the friendship as well.

Negative peer pressure is one sign of an unhealthy relationship. Each person should respect the feelings and values of the other and never influence or make another person do something that is dangerous or against his or her wishes. If a person is truly a friend, he or she will not ask a person to engage in risky behavior. Other characteristics of an unhealthy relationship are the opposites of the characteristics listed above. They include not being trustworthy, not caring, being disloyal, and not showing concern. Sometimes conflicts in relationships can be worked out through good communication. Other times the relationship must end. This is especially true if the values and wishes of one person are disrespected. Ending a friendship is better than being unhappy is the relationship.
 * The student will be able to list characteristics he or she values in a friendship.
 * The student will distinguish between healthy and unhealthy relationships.
 * The student will demonstrate problem-solving skills in and unhealthy relationship.
 * The student will exemplify the characteristics in a healthy relationship.

7.ICR.1.2 Predict short-term and long-term consequences of violence to perpetrators, victims, and bystanders.
There are several possible consequences of being around violence. Physical consequences involve harm to the body (a serious cut, a broken bone). Legal consequences occur when the action of an individual is against the law (Examples: having a weapon at school, being charged with assault and battery). An emotional consequence affects how the person feels about himself or herself (lower self-esteem). Social consequences affect an individual’s relationships with his or her family, friends, or other important people (parents may not like the teen’s friends). Academic consequences have an effect on an individual’s school performance (absences due to suspension from school). Financial consequences result in an expense (a fine or court costs). All of these can be consequences of a violent act.

The bully or aggressor may be thought to be the winner, but there are consequences for him or her. He or she may lose the respect of others or get into trouble in school. The expression, “what goes around comes around” is a good one to remember. The victim may be injured or may experience diminished self-esteem. It may seem as if others are siding with the aggressor or bully, which can make the victim feel socially isolated. There may be fewer consequences for the bystander unless he or she encouraged the fight. There may be loss of self-respect for not standing up for the victim.
 * The student will predict consequences of violence that are short-term and long-term.
 * The student will recognize the consequences for perpetrators, victims, and bystanders.
 * The student will conclude that violence is not an appropriate solution to problems or conflicts and essentially makes the original problem worse.

7.ICR.1.3 Illustrate strategies that can be used to manage anger in healthy and non-hurtful ways.
Anger can vary in intensity from mild irritation to fury or rage. A person may feel anger or resentment and it be perfectly understandable to have those feelings. Other times the feelings may not be rational or logical.

How anger is expressed is important to the emotional well-being of the angry person and to the health of the relationships he has with others. It is acceptable to have strong emotions, but not acceptable to act on those feelings in ways that are unhealthy and hurtful. Certainly counting to ten (or a “cooling off” period) is a tried and true strategy for managing anger. It gives one the time to consider the possible courses of action and to assess the potential consequences of actions that are unhealthy. Considering the effects of one’s actions on others is also recommended. Other strategies include talking it out with someone (venting), walking away, using a quieter voice, exercising, punching a pillow, writing down feelings (journaling), and “re-framing” (or thinking about the situation differently).

Learning to manage anger as a child or teen will help one get along better with others later in life. Uncontrolled anger in adulthood can result in domestic violence, road rage, divorce, and addiction. It is most likely to be the emotion that comes before violent behavior.
 * The student will recognize strategies that manage anger in positive ways.
 * The student will describe how some expressions of anger can be hurtful to others or to self.
 * The student will select positive strategies to manage anger in ways that are not hurtful or harmful.

7.ICR.1.4 Use structured thinking to avoid becoming a perpetrator or victim in cyber-bullying.
Structured thinking means one has thought processes that are logical and sequential. Two examples are the models or templates for decision making or problem solving. These models of structured thinking can be applied to the reduction of a variety of risks, including violence prevention. Cyber-bullying is the use of electronic media to harass, tease, or even trick someone. Cyber-bullying can be just as devastating to the target as bullying face-to-face. Research shows that young people acknowledge saying unkind things via electronic media that they would never say in person. There can be social and legal consequences for cyber-bullying. Sending unkind or hurtful messages can result in the loss of friendship or respect of others, can cause penalties at school such as suspension, and can even result in the designation of sexual predator if one sends sexually explicit images over the internet. There have been recent cases of the person being bullied having committed suicide.

Many cases of cyber-bullying are the result of an impulsive action. One simply does not think before texting hurtful words or mailing explicit images then hitting the “send” button. In the models for decision making, steps to consider include thinking of the possible negative consequences of the choice and whether the action will help or hurt others. Taking the time to use structured thinking is recommended for both the perpetrator and the prospective victim of cyber-bullying.
 * The student will identify risks for the perpetrator and victim of cyber-bullying.
 * The student will recall the steps of structured thinking to make a healthy decision.
 * The student will explain the potential consequences of cyber-bullying.
 * The student will apply the decision-making model to avoid becoming the perpetrator or victim of cyber-bullying.

7.ICR.1.5 Explain why tolerance is beneficial in a society characterized by diversity.
Tolerance is the ability to accept others as they are. It is one of the ways one demonstrates respect for those in his or her social world. It does not mean not noticing differences, but instead, accepting differences. The United States and North Carolina are described as having diverse populations. There is a multitude of cultures and races and ethnicities residing in the nation and the state. The United States has been described as a “melting pot” or a “tossed salad.”

Young people can be different in many ways, not just their race/ethnicity. They can be male or female, early or late maturing. They can come from large families or small, live in rural, suburban, or urban areas; they may be interested in athletics, reading, or video gaming. When students work together in small groups, individuals are often able to work through their strengths to contribute to the group effort. One student might be good at research, others at writing or graphics. The final product is enhanced by the contributions of all.

On a larger scale, society is benefitted by the contributions of many individuals. When individuals get along and demonstrate mutual respect, their efforts result in more positive outcomes. Society benefits from those with leadership skills, those interested in the arts, those who are health care providers, those who have an historical perspective, and those who create and produce items needed by others. Diversity results in synergy: when the total effect is greater than the sum of the two.
 * The student will define tolerance.
 * The student will describe the diversity of the population of the United States and North Carolina.
 * The student will identify his or her unique characteristics to contribute to groups, such as the class.
 * The student will describe the benefits of tolerance of those different from self.

7.ICR.1.6 Illustrate the appropriate role of bystanders in preventing and stopping bullying and violence.
When bullying happens, it is often in the presence of bystanders (and even for the benefit or amusement of bystanders). Sometimes the bystander is complicit in the bullying or violence; sometimes he or she just happens to be there and may not know what to do. If a bystander encourages the violence then he or she has made the situation worse for the victim. The victim may feel as though the peer group is against him as well as the bully.

Bullying has become an increasing problem in public schools. The perpetrator is obviously at fault, but bystanders have a role to play. Bystanders can alert a teacher or administrator if bullying occurs or is planned. Bystanders can try to calm the situation down or speak to the bully to state the behavior should not continue. The bystander should show support for the victim so the person is not alone. Sometimes the bystander can offer suggestions of other activities that are not hurtful or illegal.
 * The student will describe how a bystander can make a bullying situation better or worse.
 * The student will alert a teacher or administrator if bullying occurs or is planned.
 * The student will treat others with kindness and respect.