8.ICR.2

What does this standard mean a child will know and be able to do?

8.ICR.2.1 Recall abstinence as voluntarily refraining from intimate sexual behavior that could lead to unintended pregnancy and disease.
It is important to have a common understanding of the definition of abstinence. Not only does a young person need to be able to set personal limits for affectionate behavior, he or she needs to be able to communicate those intended limits with others. Each term in the definition may need to be defined: voluntarily (freely chosen), refraining (not doing something), intimate sexual behavior (oral, anal, and vaginal sexual intercourse), could lead to (may result in), unintended pregnancy (a pregnancy that is not planned), and disease (sexually transmitted diseases such as gonorrhea, Chlamydia, herpes, and HIV). Some individuals may not agree that oral sex is really sex, but it is, considering the above definition. Because it is a possible mode of transmission of STDs, it is an intimate (and potentially risky behavior).
 * The student will define abstinence and list behaviors that could lead to unintended pregnancy or disease.
 * The student will be able to set personal limits for affectionate behaviors.
 * The student will be respectful of the personal limits set by his or her friends and avoid pressuring others.

8.ICR.2.2 Recall skills and strategies for abstaining from sexual behavior.
If two people are moving toward an intimate relationship, they need to be respectful of the boundaries set by the other. They should communicate effectively and stop immediately if the other person says, “No.” A variety of skills and strategies are needed to remain or become abstinent from sexual activity. It is important to have made a decision ahead of time and then be able to manage the pressures to engage in unwanted or risky behavior. Most young people plan to be abstinent but do not have a plan not to have sex. They may give in to partner pressure or their own wishes to feel closer to that person. They may believe having sex will make them feel grown-up, or they may be rebelling against their parents’ values or expectations. They might not fully understand the consequences or believe they have a fulfilling future.

The skills needed for prevention are: analyzing influences, accessing reliable information and resources, setting goals for the future, making healthy decisions, problem solving, and effective communication. The following list describes why each skill is important:

Analyzing influences: A teen must consider whether he or she is being influenced by the media (Explicit and suggestive messages are everywhere.), by peers (who may give the impression that “everyone is doing it”), or by older teens (who may be more experienced). Teens should consider their own values and the expectations of their parents who have their best interests at heart.

Accessing reliable information and resources: There is a great deal of misinformation about sexual behavior, diseases, and pregnancy. Teens should ask questions of research reliable sources: health department, hotlines or warm lines, teachers/counselors/nurses, and their own parents who are more likely to share dependable information.

Setting goals: It is well known that young people who have a sense of the future are more likely to make healthy decisions and are less likely to take risks. Goal setting includes thinking of the barriers that would obstruct achieving one’s goals, such as an unintended pregnancy or an incurable STD.

Decision making: Decisions as serious as whether to have sex should be made thoughtfully. Teens should consider the advantages of being abstinent and alternative choices to risky activities.

Problem solving: If a teen is being pressured to engage in intimate sexual behavior, he or she needs to think through how to handle the situation. If the relationship is controlling or abusive, adult help may be needed.

Communication: Students can practice assertive refusal to have sex, as well as listening skills and the ability to demonstrate empathy. All may be needed in relationships, especially dating relationships. Effective communication is vital for making one’s intent to be abstinent known to a partner. Strategies for abstinence include avoiding situations that make the intent more difficult: steady dating, dating someone older, using alcohol or drugs, or being in settings not supervised by an adult. Selecting activities and settings that are age-appropriate and well-supervised help a young person make healthy choices.
 * The student will identify risky situations and the skills and strategies needed to become or remain abstinent.
 * The student will analyze influences in stories of teens who are abstinent.
 * The student will access reliable information and support for abstinent behavior.
 * The student will demonstrate (in role play scenarios) setting goals, making decisions, and problem solving about sexual behavior.
 * The student will model effective communication when pressured to take risks.