9.ICR.1

What does this standard mean a child will know and be able to do?

9.ICR.1.1 Illustrate the ability to respond to others with empathy.
Empathy is an ability with many different definitions. They cover a broad spectrum, ranging from feeling a concern for other people that creates a desire to help them, experiencing emotions that match another person's emotions, knowing what the other person is thinking or feeling, to blurring the line between self and others. Having the ability to respond to others with empathy is an important quality to have for someone seeking healthy relationships. Someone who takes the time to listen to others and who truly tries to understand what others are going through is someone who can make a good companion and friend.
 * The student will predict the importance of empathy in a healthy relationship.
 * The student will explain what it means to empathize with another.
 * The student will seek to show empathy toward others.

9.ICR.1.2 Classify negotiation and collaboration skills as helpful or harmful in solving problems or resolving conflicts.
Conflict is an uncomfortable, but unavoidable part of life. All relationships will have conflict at some point. When confronted with a conflict in a loving relationship, the parties involved should use a healthy method of dealing with the conflict so that they can move beyond the conflict and the relationship can grow. Collaborating is a win-win way of dealing with conflicts. When two people collaborate, they work to fully satisfy their own concerns as well as the concerns of others. A method of dealing with conflict that is lose-win is accommodating to the other party or giving in to the wishes of the other person. If the same person is always accommodating, resentment in the relationship can build which will lead to even more conflict. Negotiation is a dialogue between two or more people or parties, intended to reach an understanding in order to resolve conflict. Collaboration, negotiation, compromise and cooperation are all examples of healthy methods of dealing with conflict.
 * The student will be able to classify various methods of resolving conflict as either healthy or unhealthy.
 * The student will state the importance of using effective methods of resolving conflict in his or her own life.

9.ICR.1.3 Illustrate strategies for resolving interpersonal conflict without harming self or others.
Research indicates that many violent youth are not even aware that non-violent alternatives for resolving conflicts exist. They have never seen the methods in action and it may not have occurred to them to try anything other than violence. Resolving conflict with violence will almost certainly lead to harm to themselves or others. Conflict, if not handled well, can contribute to a variety of unhealthy practices including drug use, unwise sexual behaviors, and unsafe driving. Conflict is at the root of many mental and social health issues, as well. Habitual avoidance of conflict or always accommodating oneself to the wishes of others are, in addition to violence, learned but unproductive ways of dealing with conflict. Some strategies for resolving conflict include compromise, where each person works to satisfy some of the needs of the other and cooperation, where as many needs as possible of the other are satisfied. A win-win method of dealing with conflict is collaboration, where the concerns of both parties involved in the conflict are satisfied.
 * The student will conclude that when conflict results in violence, harm to self and others is possible.
 * The student will recognize several effective strategies in handling conflict without violence.

9.ICR.1.4 Summarize principles of healthy dating.
Dating can be a rewarding and fun experience. Dating helps with learning about friendships and romantic relationships and practicing skills in communication. Students need to use effective communication to convey expectations to their dating partners and they should know their rights and responsibilities concerning dating. Before dating, students should know what kinds of qualities they are looking for in a relationship. They should know what behaviors might make them uncomfortable on a date and why. They might want to consider who should pay for the date and why. They should recognize that abuse can take place even in teen relationships and that they have the right to terminate a relationship if they feel it is unhealthy. Other rights in a relationship include having the right to have independence and to still enjoy time with their friends without their partner getting jealous. To better understand what kind of rights and responsibilities that young people have in a dating relationship, it can be helpful to brainstorm a list of principles of healthy dating with a mock dating partner.
 * The student will be able to list several rights and responsibilities that are part of a healthy dating relationship.
 * The student will identify whether a relationship is based on healthy principles or not.
 * The student will seek adult assistance to leave an unhealthy relationship.

9.ICR.1.5 Explain how power and control in relationships can contribute to aggression and violence.
Some teen relationships can turn to violence. One partner may slap the other when he/she is angry. Or they might make fun of the other’s looks or abilities. Or constantly check up to find out what the other person is doing. A dating relationship can turn to violence once power and control take over the relationship. There are warning signs that a relationship might be heading toward abuse. When a partner is constantly checking up on the other (through text messaging, email, Facebook, or stalking), he/she is being controlling. Other signs of power and control are when one person in the relationship makes all of the decisions, tries to isolate the other from family/friends, and when there is a history of bad relationships in someone’s past. Abuse in a relationship doesn’t always start out as abuse. There is a cycle that emerges, where the tension builds, then there is a violent episode, and then a “honeymoon” stage where the abuser tries to make up for the abuse. The warning signs may not be so obvious at first. When a partner first shows signs of jealousy, the other might feel flattered that they are “loved” enough to cause a jealous episode. But if the relationship continues, this cute jealousy could quickly become fits of jealous rage meant to scare the other and control their future behavior. Without help, a relationship that is based on power and control can result in a relationship filled with aggression and violence.
 * The student will recognize that power and control are not components of a healthy relationship.
 * The student will describe the cycle of violence in relationships.
 * The student will recognize the signs of abuse in a dating relationship.
 * The student will seek help if he or she knows someone in a relationship of power, control and violence.